You can join the Exiles right now if you meet these eligibility requirements:

  • Are a woman or whose gender self-identification is other than cisgender male; AND 
  • You are 18 or over; AND 
  • You have a personal and positive interest in BDSM; AND 
  • You can say yes to at least ONE of these: 
    • Have attended an Exiles orientation 
      (Orientations are held every other month online on Zoom. For the next Orientation date and time see the Home page.) 
    • Have previously been a member of the Exiles, Outcasts, or Samois 
    • Are a member of one of our reciprocal groups  

Exiles members enjoy these benefits: 

  • Discounted door fees for programs 
  • Reciprocity with other leather organizations (you get into their events at their members prices) 
  • Our newsletter, The Lunatic Fringe 
  • Free personal ads in the newsletter 
  • The right to vote and become a Director
  • 10% discount on some services and toys sold by local vendors in the leather community including The Frugal Domme

To join as an individual, you must attend an Orientation, given by the Exiles or a reciprocal organization.  The Exiles orientation costs $10.00 (no one turned away for lack of funds). In exchange, we’ll give you a free pass to an Exiles bi-monthly program. You must bring a legal picture ID with you, for age verification. We start on time and do not admit latecomers, so please plan accordingly.  

We can offer sign language interpretation with a week’s notice. Contact our Orientation Officers at

Membership lasts one year and you can join at any time. 

There are 2 levels of membership payment: 

  • Basic: Regular cost of $40.00 per year  
  • Economic Equity:  
    • Have more? Pay more. Have less? Pay less. We want everyone to be able to be an Exiles member! 
    • If you need to pay less, that’s fine. Just pay what you can afford. 
    • If you have the means to pay more than the regular $40 membership, we would really appreciate it. Adding $20 ($60 total) or $40 ($80 total) would help us continue to offer quality educational programs to all. 

No matter what you pay, you have the same benefits 

You can elect to have your membership automatically renew. If you do, you can cancel the automatic renewal at any time. 


We need your legal name to validate your acceptance of the Waiver and Liability Release Form. Also, unless you specify otherwise, mail will be addressed to your legal name. 

We will send you confirmation of your renewal to your email address. It will be used to add you to any email lists you’ve authorized. You also receive The Lunatic Fringe via email. 

Some people prefer to use a separate name in the BDSM community. If you specify a scene name, that is what will appear on your membership card and on the membership list at the door at Exiles events. You can optionally receive regular mail addressed to your scene name. 

The Exiles is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization, so you can make tax deductible donations. 


Just follow the instructions on the Membership Renewal page. 

“Reciprocity” means that Exiles members get into events sponsored by reciprocal organizations at their member rate. The Exiles has reciprocity with the following: 

Contact the Membership Officer at or the Orientation Officers at