The Exiles is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization for individuals eligible for membership who have a positive personal interest in BDSM. The group provides educational events for people with all levels of experience to have a safe place to meet, explore and share information about safety, play techniques and resources, and connect with the leather community.
We are comprised solely of volunteers. Many thanks to the people who have worked to make the Exiles one of San Francisco’s oldest leather organizations!
Directors
Lipstick Honey
she/her
Coco
Cocos@theexiles.org
You’re in luck! Lipstick Honey has another year as your Exiles CoCoordinator. Need a refresher for all that is Lipstick Honey and an update on everything she has done during her leadership? Here you go!
Lipstick Honey is a cis queer, primal, femme, switch, leatherwoman currently residing in fist-deep Dallas. Her Daddy affectionately calls her baby bear as it pulls on her sassy, defiant, yet playfully loving heartstrings. She joined the kink community in the summer of 2019 and quickly, after that, found the leather community in Eastern Iowa. Lipstick Honey experienced immense heated pleasure when attending the CROP dungeon, where she learned more about her desire to feel the weight of a flogger, various delicious forms of impact, and the love of bondage. During the pandemic-Zoom-life era and the years to follow, she’s been able to attend several conferences, including Flame, IMsLBB, WoD, CLAW, and SPLF, and became highly active with the Exiles community. So dripping wet with community involvement, she quickly was appointed CoCoordinator of the Exiles and actively leads this non-profit organization through their commitment to education and servicing the leather community.
During her time as CoCoordinator, Lipstick became the International Woman of Drummer. When she is not traveling to WoD regionals, she attends weekly Elected Director meetings to ensure teamwork and accountability. Lipstick ensures smooth transactions by having a heavy hand in curator program presenters and collaborating with Folsom Street Community Center for educational space rentals. When her teammates need her help running events, you can find Lipstick stepping into the roles of host for the online munches and assisting with orientation. You’ll find her recording detailed meeting minutes at our monthly biz meetings every month. And let’s remember the epic 25th Anniversary that Lipstick had a massive role in making a smooth success in the organization, planning, and hosting!
Mat
she/her
Treasurer
Treasurer@theexiles.org
Mat (she/her) is a vibrant and enthusiastic individual who is running for Treasurer for the Exiles. Mat has been an integral part of the community, having supported the organization before it evolved into the Exiles. With a knack for navigating QuickBooks and a talent for deciphering legal jargon, she brings a playful energy and a wealth of experience to the table.
A self-identified cis lesbian butch with a penchant for polyamory, Mat currently resides in Oakland, CA. Her journey in the kink community began with the support of influential women who guided her in embracing her identity. It was through this path that she found her way to the Outcasts and discovered the queer world of kinky education. Though she temporarily drifted from the leather and kink scene, she rekindled her connection in 2012 and has been an active member of the Exiles ever since.
With an infectious enthusiasm, Mat is eager to breathe new life into the organization as we continue to transition out of the online covid-pandemic-world. Her vision is to revitalize in-person programming and reinvigorate social interactions, bringing the community together once more. As she steps forward cautiously into this changed landscape of the Bay Area and the land of Zoom, you will find Mat hosting Exiles events and wholeheartedly encouraging in-person socializing again.
honeycrisp
she/her/pony
Membership
Membership@theexiles.org
honeycrisp (she/her) is an extraordinary service pony and beloved candidate for re-election as the Membership Director. With a heart as golden as her favorite fruit, honeycrisp’s love for apples is as delightful as her spirit! 🍎🐴
Beyond her enchanting apple-related charm, honeycrisp’s talents extend far beyond the barn. Her journey, which began over 10 years ago, uncovered her affinity for rope bondage, a side of her that finds true bliss in the embrace of a rope. Not to mention, her experience at MTTA’s slave Training Weekend in 2017 which was a validating moment, showing her that her unique journey is a valid path all its own. Let’s not forget her incredible organizational skills – for the past four years, she’s been the mastermind behind her hometown munch calendar.
But that’s not where her magic ends. honeycrisp is the unsung hero who tirelessly improves our website and membership processes behind the scenes. In need of tech support? Look no further! She’s the Zoom maestro, always ready to tackle any technical challenge and lend a helping hoof at just a click away.
If you’re lucky enough to spot honeycrisp in the wild at our online munchies, classes, or Biz Meetings, consider yourself truly fortunate! Her involvement doesn’t stop there – she’s an integral part of Team Dimples, offering unwavering support to the Orientation Crew. With honeycrisp, every moment is a joy, and her commitment knows no bounds. She’s not just a service pony; she’s the embodiment of passion, dedication, and a touch of whimsy in our vibrant community! 🌈
Luka
they/them
Recorder
Recorder@theexiles.org
Luka (they/them) is a queer, white, non-binary dyke. They have been a member of the Exiles since 2020, when they finally committed to fully embracing and centering their long-standing interest in kink/BDSM. They are grateful for the learning opportunities they’ve had through attending and volunteering at Exiles events and would love to apply their love of careful record-keeping to the organization as recorder and/or website manager. At this point in their kinky life, Luka is a bottom- and sub-leaning switch and is especially fond of canes and other stingy impact, excessive teasing, and gender play.
AJ
they/them
Steward/Interim DEI
Steward@theexiles.org
Being a baker of cakes, brownies, and cookies, I often flag lime green for food play along with Red, Grey, and Black, but am always up for some shenanigans in the dungeon and elsewhere! I love to craft and am currently working through the 2024 Year of New Skills, where I have learned how to crochet, Sew my own clothes, and complete a few chapters of a book in the making. Not only do I love the Exiles, but I also love my fur babies and Bootblacking.
I have been in the Leather and Kink community since 2014, spending most of my time learning how to be a Bootblack in the Central Florida Community. I fell in love with Bootblacking after seeing a steamy poolside scene at Florida Power Exchange, and the rest is history! Learning through books, online resources, and the community at large, I took a chance and entered FLSb-FCBB, where he earned Florida Community Bootblack in 2016 & 2019 before achieving his final title of International Community Bootblack in 2019. Volunteering has been a constant factor in my Leather path as I have volunteered in the Bootblack stands at events such as South East Leather Fest, Beyond Leather, Florida Power Exchange (Bootblack Coordinator), GLLA, Southwest Leather Conference, South Plains Leather Fest.
Bootblacking is not the only skill I can offer. I continue volunteering for the Submissive Oriented Conference as an assistant to their Marketing Team and Co-creator of the Contious Language document that the conference upholds. Whether it is for national conferences, smaller events such as The Virtual Bootblack Jam or even being handlers for those running for titles, I will always be there asking how I can help!
Since the Pandemic, I have shared my passion for Bootblacking on a smaller scale by mentoring new Bootblacks in a one-on-one setting. I also teach classes on the art of not giving a buff, Bootblack 101, and Cuddling isn’t just for little headspace. Creating an authentic space for myself and others is important to me, and moving to Maine has given me the opportunity to share and create new leather connections. When I do meet new leather folks, I always bring up how wonderful the Exiles are. Since joining the Exiles, I have been willing to step up and host munches, assist with supporting cruises, and be a confidant to those who need an ear. I love the Exiles and what they represent, and it would be my honor to continue working with them in the position of Director for Steward.
Gage
he/they
PR
PR@theexiles.org
Gage Baldwin (he/they) is an agender Leatherqueer, with his roots planted in central Oklahoma. He started his journey as a Leather Boy in 2013, and found a home in The Exiles in the summer of 2023. They are the co-host of the monthly discussion group Let’s Talk Leather, and held the title of Oklahoma Mr. Leather 2019.
As far as kinks, they are a major scent pig, an eager masochist, and a sucker for a good gas mask. Gage has an eye for design that was cultivated by a decade of working in the arts, and a love of language that was fostered by the queer poets who came before him.
Malone
she/her
CoOrientation Director
Orientation@theexiles.org
Monica Malone (she/her) has been a queer leatherdyke probably since junior high when she got her first leather bomber jacket, but she’s been most active in the scene these last four years. Recently she stepped aside as Ms. Minnesota Leather Pride. While she wore the sash throughout the years of covid cancellations her time in service brought about a wee bit of deviant joy.
Leather itself is one of her favorite kinks. Another is impact/other sensation play that accommodates accessibility needs because it makes her switchy neurodivergent self happy. A real hanky code dork, ask her why she is flagging black and white stripes (R), blue and white gingham (L), or a stalk of celery (either) and you’ll surely receive a grin as wide as her dimples are deep. While Minnesota is home, California holds her heart (and often her tall blonde self). She is eager to spread The Exiles’ love all over newbies as our new Orientation Co-Coordinator and she’d like you to know her booty was recently certified by the National Historic Register.
Nunca
she/they
Accessibility
Accessibility@theexiles.org
Hi, my name is Nunca, my pronouns are she/they, and I hold the current title of Ms SF Eagle Leather 2023. I am a Chicana Leatherdyke located in Oakland CA, with an evolving gender identity that has recently been coined Salty Genderfuck. Feels right for now. My scene name, Nunca Naughty (“never naughty”), comes from an inside joke between me and my Abuela. She would absolutely not approve, but I know she would still love it. As I’ve grown into my Leather identity, I’ve also grown into new names for myself. I chose to go by Nunca Sola (“alone” or “solo”) when I started my yearlong self-collaring. I hope to be able to claim Nunca Mejor (“never better”) as I continue my journey of healing and growth. What “never better” means to me is that I am living confidently in my most honest expression of myself while uplifting the people and animals around me and standing for the people of the world who are living in any kind of oppression. My childhood was spent caring for children and young adults with developmental disabilities and from here I formed my ideas of equality and fairness. I believe that there can only be justice when the most marginalized members of society are held in equal value to the privileged majority. This can only be achieved through accessibility. As your Accessibility Lead, I am excited to explore this idea and how it applies to our Exiles group and the greater Leather and Kink community.
Noah
they/them
Website
Website@theexiles.org
Noah Berlove (they/them) non-binary, CODA, neurodivergent, trans, Jewish, queer! A switchy little with a huge range of kinks. They are especially a fan of electricity-both in play and connection.
Originally from Rochester, NY, they spent several years moving around the West Coast before landing in the Bay Area 15 years ago. They have frequented Exiles events, supporting the mission and community. They are excited to take on the website director position and aim to be a responsible steward of this important community resource.
Innocent
she/they
Doorkeeper
Doorkeeper@theexiles.org
A’ho, I’m Innocent (she/they), currently living in West Sacramento. I’m an Indigenous bootblack. A dragon. And I am Honored to Serve as Emotional Support Animal to Nunca,(she/they) Ms SF Eagle Leather 2023.
I proudly represent House Of Iron and currently hold the title of Northwest Bootblack 2023. Recently I made the podium as 1st runner up, International MsBootBlack2024
I hold memberships and affiliations with: All Indigenous Missing Murdered Vallejo, Leather girls of Color-The Foundation, F.I.S.T., Service Pups of San Francisco, Bikers Against Child Abuse (BACA) Sacramento Founding Chapter, Honorary Founding Chapter Member, The Exiles, and being Mama’s Innocent One in Mama’s Family.
Introduced to bootblacking by my first Sir, Linda, a US soldier, in the late 1990s, I’ve spent over 20 years honing this craft, finding joy in every shine, repair, and embellishment.
I was recently asked for 3 kinks and my response. First, I would usually say boots, but mine kept trying to hurt me that day. Second, Meeting new friends And favorite, Metal, like the heavy gauge chain They use to tether me to Her, and sometimes when She chains me to the bed.
My journey has inspired a passion for uplifting voices often overlooked, particularly among Indigenous peoples in kink and Leather communities. My mission is to advocate for ethical representation, especially for trans and other BIPOC bootblacks, fostering inclusivity at all levels. I’ve previously held officer roles in the motorcycle community as well as holding secretary, and Sgt At Arms roles in various other organizations.