The Exiles is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization for individuals eligible for membership who have a positive personal interest in BDSM. The group provides educational events for people with all levels of experience to have a safe place to meet, explore and share information about safety, play techniques and resources, and connect with the leather community.

We are comprised solely of volunteers. Many thanks to the people who have worked to make the Exiles one of San Francisco’s oldest leather clubs!

Name and Purpose

  • The name of this organization is The Exiles Woman-to-Woman (”the Exiles”) All legal documents shall be maintained under this name.
  • The Exiles is a 501(c)3 non-profit corporation legally established in San Francisco, California in March 1997, on behalf of its future members and granted 501(c)3 non-profit status in September 2006. All assets accumulated or obligations incurred in the name of The Exiles, including its name, logo and official means of communication, are and remain wholly under its control.
  • The Exiles is an educational group for individuals eligible for membership who have a positive personal interest in BDSM. The group will provide educational events where those people with all levels of experience will have a safe place to meet, explore and share information about safety, play techniques and resources, and connect with the leather community locally and nationally.
      1. The Exiles strives to be an anti-racist organization, by continuously working to dismantle identity-based oppressions and white supremacy. The Exiles stands against racism, misogynoir, misogyny, ableism, transphobia, genderphobia, ageism, sexism, body shaming, kink shaming, and any other forms of (non-consensual) violence and oppression. We hold ourselves, each other, and the organization responsible, as we teach, listen, and are accountable to this ongoing commitment
  • The official means of communication for The Exiles shall include:  
  • by mail at a PO Box owned by the Exiles.
  • by voice mail at a phone number owned by the Exiles.
  • by web at
  • by email at
  • by newsletter, The Lunatic Fringe
  • by appropriate social media identified as representing the Exiles
  • Only members authorized to communicate on behalf of the Exiles shall do so.
  • The Exiles shall generally hold at least two regularly scheduled events each month, to include: 
  • an educational program on BDSM, kink, leather and fetish-related topics; 
  • a business meeting, open to individuals eligible to be members at which all officers shall report. Members are encouraged to participate in the running of the organization and are urged to participate in discussions. Members may vote and make motions after attending two business meetings, provided those business meetings fall within the past six months.
  • Any business meeting may be canceled by majority vote at the October or November meeting.

  • Membership
  • ELIGIBILITY: Membership in The Exiles is open to all women and those whose gender self-identification is other than male, who are over 18 years of age, and who have a personal and positive interest in BDSM. We ask that you respect that this is a women’s space. Legal verification of age will be required.
  • BECOMING A MEMBER: To become a member, one must: 
  • Meet the gender eligibility demographic
  • Attend an Orientation at which member obligations will be explained. An applicant may provide proof of membership in a reciprocal organization in lieu of attending the Exiles Orientation.
  • Sign the Waiver and Liability Release with their legal name
  • Pay dues
  • Provide a current email address

  • Safety, confidentiality and consensuality are required from and offered to all members. However, the group cannot guarantee that each member will behave responsibly; therefore membership in The Exiles does not constitute an endorsement by the organization of a person or their character.
  • Members must agree to abide by these Bylaws and Policies and Procedures..
  • Members shall have the right to vote for and become Directors, receive the newsletter, attend and participate in the business meetings of the group, receive a membership card and use it to attend Exiles functions at the member fee, and participate in other groups through reciprocal agreements
  • Members will abide by all other rights and privileges that may be conferred by these Bylaws.

  • DUES
  • Dues shall be paid yearly to maintain membership in good standing.
  • There are two categories of dues:
  • Basic Membership
  • Economic Equity Membership (Have more? Pay more. Have less? Pay less.)
  • The fee schedule for dues shall be reviewed on a yearly basis at the May regularly scheduled business meeting. The fee schedule may be adjusted at that business meeting by a majority vote. However, in no event shall the fee schedule be increased by more than 20% in any given calendar year.
  • Each member will receive their own membership card. Each member is entitled to receive the newsletter electronically. Alternative delivery of the newsletter, for example by paper mail, may be offered. Each type of membership is entitled to receive one paper newsletter. 
  • Since official communication to the members is done via email, members will provide a current email address. Changes should be sent to the Membership Director by email or by mail.

  • The Exiles values safety, consensuality, and confidentiality. For willful and egregious violation of these Bylaws, and the rules of safety, consensuality, or confidentiality, revocation of membership is mandatory. For other forms of misconduct (such as misappropriation of the Exiles’ resources), penalties may include warning, probation, or revocation of membership.
    1. A member with a complaint against another member that may warrant disciplinary action shall bring the matter in writing to any Director. Any Director who receives such a communication shall notify the Steering Committee promptly and comply with the Policies and Procedures Manual.

  • Directors
    The Exiles Steering Committee is comprised of Elected Directors and Appointed Directors as outlined below.
  • The Exiles membership shall elect two Directors to serve as Co-Coordinators. They shall serve for two-year alternating  terms, so that each year one coordinator ends their term while the other continues for one more year. The term runs from April 1 through March 31. 
  • The Exiles membership shall elect two additional Directors: Membership Director and Treasurer, each for a one-year term running from April 1 through March 31. 
  • The two Co-Coordinators, Membership Director, and Treasurer are collectively referred to as the “Elected Directors”. 
  • The Elected Directors shall appoint additional Directors (the “Appointed Directors”), each for a one-year term running from May 1 through April 30:
        1. Recorder: Manages minutes and communications, except the newsletter
        2. Newsletter Editor: Prepares and distributes The Lunatic Fringe
        3. Outreach/PR Director: Manages publicity and outreach.
        4. Orientation Director: Responsible for Orientation 
        5. Doorkeeper: Manages the door at programs
        6. Steward: Provides security at the door for Exiles functions.
        7. Web Site Manager: Maintains and manages the official Exiles website.
        8. Volunteer Coordinator: Recruits and manages volunteers

  • Together the Elected Directors and Appointed Directors shall make up the “Steering Committee”. 
  • No Director shall serve more than a total of four consecutive years (or five, if having served as Co-Coordinator) as a Director. After not serving as a Director for at least twelve months, a member shall be eligible to run in the next election cycle or to be appointed a Director again.

  • An Exiles member who has been a member for at least a year, and who has attended a minimum of 3 of the last 6 regular business meetings is eligible to be nominated for the position of Coordinator, Membership Director, or Treasurer. 
  • Anyone who has been an Exiles member for one year, or has qualified to become a voting member at business meetings, is eligible to be nominated for or to be appointed to any position other than Coordinator, Membership Director, or Treasurer.

  • A Director is required to attend at least eight (8) of the regularly scheduled business meetings each calendar year. If a Director misses two (2) consecutive business meetings, without communicating with the Steering Committee, they may be removed from office.
  • All Directors are eligible to vote during their term of office, regardless of attendance.
  • A Director may delegate responsibilities of their office (excluding voting privileges), and is urged to mentor an assistant or convene a committee to share the workload and get more members involved. However, it is the Director’s responsibility to meet the obligations of the office.
  • Each outgoing Director is responsible for briefing their successor and turning over all materials as soon as possible, preferably within two weeks (2) of stepping down. An outgoing Director with no successor shall brief and turn over materials to a coordinator.
  • All Directors are required to submit a report from their area of responsibility for every business meeting, either in writing as a part of the agenda or in person.This report is required even if the Director is not attending the meeting.
  • Election of Directors
  • Nominations for the Elected Directors shall be made at the beginning of the February program and published in the March newsletter. If an office is contested, the candidates have the option of including a statement, limited to 300 words, in the March newsletter. 
  • Voting process and ballots, including all forms of voting (online, hardcopy, any other form), shall be published to the membership no later than March 5. This can be done along with publication of the March newsletter, or separately. 
  • In order to be counted in the election, mailed ballots must be received by 5:00pm Pacific Time two days prior to the March program meeting. If the March program meeting is in-person, paper Paper ballots may be brought to that meeting, or completed by paper ballot at the meeting. Online voting will be announced at the beginning of the meeting, and will close by the end of the meeting. Results will be announced to the membership as soon as they are available.
  • Ballots shall contain a place for write-in candidates for any position for which there is already at least one nominee. If there are no nominees for a position, that position remains empty until filled by the Business Group, as described below. A simple majority of votes cast determines the winner. If there are any pending Bylaws amendments, these shall be included in the same ballot as the Director elections. Results of Bylaws amendments are determined as described below 
  • Appointment of Directors: The Appointed Director positions shall be filled at the April business meeting. An appointment requires a majority vote of voting members present. Such vote shall be by secret ballot.
  • Vacancies: 
  • A vacancy in any office, caused by any reason, shall be filled by appointment of any member who meets the qualifications for election or appointment. Vacancies are filled in the same manner as appointment of Directors. 
      1. If, after an election, a position is vacant, the Steering Committee shall hold the position open and conduct outreach to the membership to fill the position. In this instance, the current Director may continue in that position in an “acting” capacity until the appointment of a successor Director at a business meeting or the annual election.
  • Removal From Office
  • A Director may be removed from office for the same causes and with the same procedure as a membership may be revoked (as defined in the Policies and Procedures). If a Director is removed from office for any of these reasons, their membership is also revoked.
  • If a Director fails to perform their required duties they may be removed from office by a vote of the Steering Committee. A quorum of two thirds of the remaining Steering Committee (not including individuals with a conflict of interest) must be present for a valid vote to occur, and the majority of them must vote to remove the Director. Note that removal from office in this manner does not affect the membership status of the Director.
  • Any member of the Steering Committee who has a conflict of interest will recuse themselves and will not vote or participate in the discussions. A conflict of interest includes, but is not limited to, someone who has a current or past significant personal or financial relationship with one of the parties. If a Director believes another member of the Steering Committee has a conflict of interest, that Director may be recused by a majority vote of the remaining members of the Steering Committee.

  • Reciprocity and Affiliation
  • Reciprocity: 
  • The Exiles may enter into reciprocity agreements with other organizations through which we recognize each other’s members and treat them as our own at our functions. These other organizations must require a safety workshop and issue membership cards.
  • Benefits of Reciprocity: Anyone who meets the membership requirements for the Exiles and who is a member of a reciprocal group may attend Exiles events (other than meetings which are restricted to members) at the member rate. They shall sign the Waiver and Liability Release.
  • Affiliation: The Exiles, as participants in the world-wide BDSM community, shall be an affiliate member of such national and international organizations as the business group deems appropriate.

  • Emblems
    The name and logo of The Exiles are property of the organization. The name and logo of the Exiles may not be used for advertising or commercial purposes unless officially sanctioned by the business group.

  • Dissolution: 
    1. Deciding for Dissolution: The Exiles shall cease doing business upon completion of the following:
      1. Quorum of two thirds of the Steering Committee must be present for a valid vote to occur, and two thirds of them must vote to bring the question to the membership.
      2. Notice shall be printed in the next issue of the newsletter that the question will be voted on at the next upcoming program.
      3. A majority of members in attendance at that program must vote in favor of dissolution.
    2. Dissolution of Assets
      After all outstanding expenses, including dissolution costs, have been paid, any remaining funds shall be distributed for any exempt purposes within the meaning of section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code.

  • Amending These Bylaws
    1. Any member may submit an amendment to the Bylaws at a business meeting,  in writing. 
    2. If after discussion at the business meeting, a majority of voting-eligible members in attendance agree, a Co-Coordinator will notify the general membership of the proposed amendment by email or through the newsletter. This notification will include the language of the amendment and the time and location for a “special” meeting where the general membership can discuss the proposed changes. A special meeting is a meeting not held during the regularly scheduled business meeting or program. 
    3. The general membership will vote after the special meeting. The amendment will be adopted if it is approved by the majority of the voting general membership. 
    4. If an amendment to the Bylaws fails, it may not be proposed again for at least one year.

  1. Contact Information for the Exiles is as follows:
    1. Mail: P.O. Box 14338, San Francisco, CA 94114
    2. Phone: 415-938-SFSM (7376)
  1. Yearly dues are as follows: 
    1. Basic Membership: $36
    2. Economic Equity Membership (Have more? Pay more. Have less? Pay less.)

  2. No cameras or recording devices of any kind shall be permitted at any Exiles function without prior written permission from the Business group, except those held in a place where access is not under the group’s control and open to the public. An exception may be made to allow the audio tape recording of business meetings for ease of transcription. A vote to approve such may be taken on the motion of the Recorder.
  1. The Treasurer is authorized to pay expenses approved at business meetings. 
  1. If time-sensitive decisions arise outside of the normal business-meeting schedule, an online vote can be called, following these steps:
    1. Anyone eligible to vote as of the end of the last business meeting is eligible to vote online.
    2. The same quorum rules apply: the minimum number of votes must be received by the deadline for the vote to count. If not, the proposal can be abandoned, or reintroduced with a new deadline.
    3. The requestor will publish a proposal to the business group email list, and request a second.
    4. If no second is received, the proposal is dead (but can be re-introduced). If a second is received, the requestor calls for a vote.
    5. The requestor must say if the issue is urgent or not. If urgent, they publish a time-and-day deadline of at least 2 full days. If not urgent (but needs to be dealt with before the business meeting), they publish a time-and-day deadline of at least 5 full days.
    6. The requestor sends a text message to all eligible voting members, stating that there is an online vote that needs their attention, including the deadline.
    7. The requestor sends an email with the result of the voting once the deadline has been reached.
  1. The Treasurer will put together a yearly budget based on past income and expenditures and projected future income/expense.  This budget will be presented to the business group prior to the end of each fiscal year, and voted upon for approval at or before the final business meeting of the fiscal year.  If adjustments are requested or required, they must be brought before the business group and approved by a majority vote.  Adjustments include request for payment of amounts above the budgeted sum for an individual category.  
  1. Door fee for programs shall be $10.00. Members shall pay $5.00 upon presentation of their membership card. Free admittance will be extended to the evening’s presenter(s) and up to two assistants.
  1. A copy of the Bylaw and Policies and Procedures will be made available to all prospective members at orientation. Since all changes will be announced in The Lunatic Fringe, it is the responsibility of each member to be aware of and observe them.  
  1. The Lunatic Fringe is the official newsletter of The Exiles. Except for bylined articles, fiction, signed letters, calendar items, attributed items and ads, all information is presented as policy. No last names (unless program presenters include their own in the program description they supply), home addresses or personal telephone numbers shall be printed.

  2. Members may run free personal or business ads (no larger than 2 x 1 ½ ), not more than one per month. Business ads must be for the member’s own business. Display/classified ads are accepted, and costs per issue are as follows:
  1. $10 for business card size, which is 2×3
  2. $20 for 4×3
  3. $30 for 1/4 page, which is about 3 1/8 x 5.
  4. $40 for 4×6 
  5. $60 for 1/2 page, which is about 7 1/4 x 5
  1. Proposals for any Exiles business, including sponsorship, donations, events, reciprocal affiliations proposals, or any other business must be presented in writing to the Business group, and will be discussed at the next business meeting.

  2. A minimum of 5 voting members is required for any vote in the business group (at a meeting or online) in order to designate the vote as valid.

  3. The business group may decide if business meetings are open to members only or to community members who meet our membership demographic. However, the co-coordinators can decide that there is some business that is more private, so can designate all or part of a meeting as ‘members only’ (all Exiles members welcome) or ‘executive session’ (only voting members allowed) or ‘steering committee’ (only Directors allowed).

  4. Sign Language interpreters may be requested for any of the Exiles programs and events. 
  1. Volunteer Compensation: Directors, program volunteers, and those who take on specific tasks at the business meetings will be compensated in the following manner: 
  1. Elected Directors will receive free membership, free entry into programs, up to $100 assistance for travel expenses and/or paid registration for one leather conference that includes educational content per term. 
  2. Appointed Directors will receive free membership, free entry into programs, and a free t-shirt, tank top or pin (one time only).  
  3. General volunteers will receive a pass for one free program entry each time they do work for the Exiles (subject to Volunteer Coordinator’s discretion). 
  4. Anyone providing interpretation services will be given free membership in the organization, and free water at programs.
    1. Presenters may choose one of the following:
    2. A one-time, quarter-page ad space in The Lunatic Fringe
    3. An Exiles t-shirt and pin
    4. A subscription to The Lunatic Fringe for the remainder of the membership period (all memberships expire in June).
  1. Policies may be changed over two business meetings: an eligible member moves to change and an eligible member seconds it; the proposed change appears in the minutes printed in The Lunatic Fringe. At the following meeting it is discussed, and shall pass if a majority of eligible voters vote yes.  
  1. If a check submitted by a member for payment of dues is returned by the bank, that member will be in good standing only if they pay the amount due as well as any fees charged The Exiles by the bank with regard to the returned check within 60 days. 
  1. Renewal notices and forms will be included in the July and August issues of the Lunatic Fringe. A member who does not renew their membership by June 30 is granted a “grace period” during which they may continue to receive the July and August issues of The Lunatic Fringe. If they attend the July program they may still get in at the member rate, but they must renew by the August program, at the non-prorated rate, in order to get in at the member rate. 
  1.  The Steering Committee will meet at least once every calendar year. Additional meetings may be called by the coordinators as needed.
  1. In the interest of providing a safe space at Exiles events: If, at an Exiles program or event, someone brings to a Director’s attention that they have been threatened, harassed, or abused by someone else who is at the event, regardless of where this took place, the accused person will be asked to leave the event until such time as we can investigate and make a determination of what we will do to address this situation going forward.
  1. Specific duties of the elected Directors are as follows:
  1. Coordinators (2): 
    1. Manage the administration of the organization.
    2. Facilitate the business meetings, including preparing the agenda and obtaining reports from all Directors.
    3. Organize monthly programs, including scheduling and communicating with presenters. Provide Newsletter Editor,  PR Director, and Web Site Manager with details on upcoming programs as soon as possible, to facilitate publicity and to provide notice if any male(s) will be presenting.
    4. May divide their duties between them as they wish.
    5. Are elected to a two-year term.
  2. Membership Director
    1. Manages the official means of communication to the membership (excepting The Lunatic Fringe).  This includes maintaining any email lists run by the club for members.
    2. Maintains records of attendance at orientations in order to validate membership eligibility.
    3. Maintains identity information provided to The Exiles by members and prospective members and is responsible for its confidentiality. Provides such information to other Directors as required for the performance of their duties.
    4. Provides membership cards and renewal notices.
  3. Treasurer
    1. Collects, disburses, and accounts for all funds belonging to, owed to, or owed by The Exiles.
    2. Maintains and reconciles The Exiles’ bank accounts.
    3. Ensures that the accounts shall have several members authorized to sign.
    4. Ensures that even if not supported by the bank, checks for non-routine expenses over $200 are signed by two signers.
    5. Processes all financial transactions (expenses and deposits, statement reconciliations) within one month of receipt, or by the due date, whichever is sooner.
    6. Reimburses authorized expenditures incurred by members on The Exiles’ behalf, only upon presentation of receipts for same.
    7. Completes all licensing, tax, and other legal requirements in a timely manner.
    8. Insures that funds are kept available to pay foreseeable upcoming expenses, such as room rent for programs, newsletter printing and mailing, voice mail service, supplies, etc.
    9. Provides a financial report at each business meeting, including the total balance in all accounts and any other details about the finances of The Exiles requested and/or needed to facilitate financial decision-making at the meeting.
    10. Provides financial information about The Exiles to the membership when requested.
    11. Leads the budget committee, which is responsible for proposing and having accepted a budget for each fiscal year. This should be completed by end of the previous fiscal year.
    12. Prepares a year-end report, presented at the first business meeting of the following fiscal year and printed in the next Lunatic Fringe published after that meeting.
  4. The appointed Directors and their job descriptions are as follows:
  5. Recorder
    1. Takes minutes of business meetings, which will include date and time, reports presented, motions made and their disposition, and attendance. These minutes are to be presented to the business group within a week of the meeting, after which corrections may be offered. Once approved, the minutes are then kept on file permanently by the Recorder. 
    2. Prepares a summary of the minutes to be printed in the following month’s Lunatic Fringe.
    3. Maintains an inventory of all property purchased by or donated to The Exiles. All members who have use or custody of such property are to keep the Recorder informed.
    4. Keeps records of The Exiles activities, including a master file of business meeting minutes and Directors’ reports, newsletters, posters, palm cards, flyers and other publications, and all other written artifacts of the group that do not contain confidential information.
  6. Newsletter Editor
    1. Prepares a monthly edition of The Lunatic Fringe and mails it to all members on or before the first day of each month.  
    2. Collects material for the newsletter: from Directors in the form of articles, reports, program announcements, and minutes; from members in the form of articles, or letters to The Exiles or to The Lunatic Fringe; a report on the previous month’s program; calendar listings, news and announcements of interest excerpted from mail sent to The Exiles; classified, personal and display ads; short fiction or poetry submitted by members shall be printed as space allows.
  7. Outreach/PR Director
    1. Arranges visibility activities such as e-blasts, social media postings, listserve postings, press releases, and calendar listings for Exiles events, information booths at appropriate public events and newsletter exchange with similar groups.
    2. Arranges advertising, such as display ads, inserts, flyers, and palm cards, for conferences and other events of interest to the Exiles.
    3. Assists the Orientation Director by handling notice of scheduled orientations.
  8. Orientation Director
    1. Conducts the Orientation required before anyone may become a member.
    2. Manages materials and handouts supplied to orientation attendees and new members.
    3. Determines if an organization offers an Orientation that is equivalent in breadth and depth to the Exiles Orientation, for the purpose of determining eligibility for reciprocity.
  9. Doorkeeper: 
    1. Opens the space before programs begin.
    2. Checks the membership card of each member and collects the member door fee.
    3. Verifies the age, obtains the legal signature on the Waiver and Liability Release, and collects the door fee from each non-member.
    4. Completes the Door Report and gives it, along with the money collected, to the Treasurer or their designee.
  10. Steward
    1. Provides security at the door for Exiles functions.
    2. Controls and, if necessary, closes admission when the presenter begins the program and again after any intermission.
  11. Website Manager

    1. Maintains and manages the official Exiles website.
    2. Updates website content in a timely manner.
    3. Maintains a record of all website-related accounts and their passwords, and keeps this information available to the Coordinators.
  12. Volunteer Coordinator
    1. Recruits interested volunteers for Exiles program and outside events where the Exiles have a presence, such as conferences and street fairs.
    2. Maintains database of volunteers and helps to fill needed positions as determined by the business group.
    3. Assists co-coordinators in planning the annual Volunteer Appreciation Party.
  1. Contestant Sponsorship: The Exiles may choose to sponsor a contestant for a leather- or BDSM-related title as follows: 
    1. The stated mission/goal of the contest/title must be educational in nature. (For example, International Ms. Leather “will act as a mentor, a role model and a spokesperson”.) This is important because the title must foster our mission as an educational organization in order to not jeopardize our nonprofit status. 
    2. The requestor must have been a member of the Exiles for at least a year. 
    3. The requestor must have performed ongoing volunteer activities for the Exiles during the past year. Being an Exiles Director in good standing meets this requirement. Otherwise, the requestor must have volunteered at least 6 times for the Exiles, including attending at least one business meeting (each business meeting attendance counts as a volunteer activity), and volunteering for at least one program meeting or other Exiles event such as a booth shift at Pride or Folsom. 
    4. The requestor must have a public demeanor and attitude that would represent the Exiles in a positive light. 
    5. Once granted sponsorship, the contestant must do the following: 
      1. Wear Exiles-branded items at all leather events attended between the granting of the sponsorship and the contest. 
      2. Wear Exiles-branded items regularly during contest-related events. 
      3. Be identified as being sponsored by The Exiles whenever a bio related to the title is published. 
      4. If the contestant wins the title, wear Exiles-branded items (at least a pin) at any events representing the title. 
      5. If the contestant does not compete in the contest, they must return to the Exiles any contest fees they have been reimbursed. 
    6. Once granted sponsorship, the contestant may, from the time of sponsorship up to the contest, solicit donations from third parties under the Exiles nonprofit status. Donors must be required to sign a form containing (at least) the following: 
      1. The donation is to the Exiles. 
      2. The donation is requested to benefit the contestant’s title run or title-related activities. 
      3. The donation will not be used for any personal use, but only in support of the Exiles. 
      4. The Exiles may sponsor multiple contestants for a contest, provided they meet the above requirements and follow the process outlined below. 
    7. Once sponsorship is granted, the Exiles commit to the following: 
      1. Including an Ad in each Fringe following the sponsorship grant up to the contest, advertising the sponsorship of all contestants for that contest. 
      2. Placing an Ad in the program book for the contest, mentioning sponsorship of all sponsored contestants. Generally we include the names of all contestants who are Exiles members in such Ads; sponsored contestants will get a separate mention. 
      3. Reimbursing the contest entrance fee up to a total of $50. 
    8. The Exiles does not commit to providing any additional funds to the contestant, although, as for all requests, the contestant may submit a regular proposal to the Exiles requesting additional funds for additional purposes. 
    9. This is the process for requesting sponsorship: 
      1. The contestant must submit a request in writing which includes a statement about why they want Exiles sponsorship, a summary of their Exiles volunteer work, and an outline of their proposed fundraiser. This must be provided to the Exiles business group ( at least one week prior to a business meeting, with the request to be added to the business meeting agenda. 
      2. The contestant must attend the business meeting and present their proposal in under 5 minutes. After this they may be asked questions by the business group. If there are questions that cannot be answered at the business meeting, the group can choose to table the proposal until the next meeting in order to get answers. 
      3. After the presentation and Q&A, the contestant must leave the business meeting so the group can discuss the proposal. The group will then vote on the sponsorship, following the standard business group voting procedures. As with all decisions made by the business group, the decision will be published in the minutes of the meeting. 
  1. Each Director will receive a pin stating their office. The pin is on loan, so when the person is no longer holding that office, they must return the pin to the co-coordinators.

  2. The Exiles offers patches for the club according to the following rules:

  • Patch Earning Requirements: To become an Exiles patch holder, prospective patch holders must: 
      1. Be an Exiles member in good standing for at least one year.
      2. Positively represent the Exiles in word and deed, and support the club at events
      3. Volunteer at a minimum of two Exiles events in a one year period. One of these can be an educational program, but one must be a special event or project
      4. Pay a one-time initiation fee
  • Ongoing Patch Holder Requirements: For patch holders to maintain their patches they must:
      1. Be an Exiles member in good standing
      2. Positively represent the Exiles in word and deed, and support the club at events
      3. Volunteer at a minimum of one Exiles event in a one year period
    1. Exiles members who complete the requirements for patch holding will be issued a back patch from the Exiles to be worn, centered, on the back of the patch holder’s vest, jacket, or other article of clothing, above the waist. No other large patches may be worn on the back of that article of clothing without the written approval of the Exiles. If the patch is damaged or lost, the member must pay its full replacement cost.
  • Administration
    1. Directors will vote on prospective patch holders at the next business meeting after the requirements to hold a patch are met, and patches will be awarded at the following program.
    2. The club may revoke the patch should any of the requirements for holding it not be met. Patches are the property of the Exiles and must be removed and returned should membership lapse, be revoked, or terminated. The Peacekeeper with the support of the business group shall perform due diligence to recover said patches.
    3. The Membership Director, Peacekeeper, or other Director(s) as designed by the business group, will be responsible for the administration of patch holder activities, tracking of the requirements, and issuance of patches. Exiles branded items and other membership regalia shall be retained in the club archive or such other archive as the Exiles may deem appropriate.
  1. Audits: The Membership and Treasurer documentation (membership database, Quickbooks files, bank and PayPal accounts) shall be reviewed when a new Director takes over, to be sure the record-keeping is in good order. During the first year of responsibility for a Director in these positions, the documentation shall be reviewed every quarter, and yearly after the first year. This review will be conducted by a Co-coordinator, who is encouraged to get assistance from someone who has previously done the job and is therefore knowledgeable about how the documentation should be done. The results will be written up and kept in the club business documents. The results will be discussed at the next business meeting following the review, and action taken if there are issues.

  2. If a member is unable to physically attend a business meeting, they may attend by phone, if equipment is available to conference them into the meeting. As long as they are able to hear the proceedings and be heard, they may vote if they have voting privileges.

  3. To allow presenters to be paid, we offer them the following; after clearing our rent for the program venue, we will split the door 60/40, with them getting the 60%. (Exceptions are group events such as panel discussions, Novice Night, the Folsom Social, and the Carnal Carnival.) Presenters can help this by using their own networks and resources to increase attendance at the program.
    1. Policy Guidelines on Consent and Appropriate Behavior at Exiles Events 
      1. Statement of Principles
        1. The Exiles are committed to providing a fun, friendly, creative, and welcoming atmosphere for our members and guests at all of our programs and events. We are a club dedicated to furthering freedom of expression in tandem with personal accountability, while striving to eliminate abusive behaviors, and create events that are free from harassment, abusive behavior and consent violations.
        2. There are physical and emotional risks that people choose to take in the BDSM scene, and each person must evaluate and determine their own risk level; by learning, asking questions, talking to any Exiles Director, and evaluating their own tolerance for risk. The Exiles will try, to the best of our ability, to create as safe a space as we can at all of our events.
        3. Attendees are expected to be accountable for their actions and to consider the well-being of themselves, others and The Exiles. Conduct which undermines these guidelines, or is exploitative of others, may be cause for removal from the event, banning from future events and/or membership to be revoked.
      2. The following actions and behaviors are considered inappropriate for all people attending our events: 
        1. Abusive behavior: Physical Intimidation, bullying, coercion, repeated unwanted sexual advances, inappropriate touching, aggressive violations of personal space, or non consensual physical abuse.
        2. Harassment: Verbal intimidation, threats, rumor mongering, defamation, libel, false accusations, or breaking confidentiality.
        3. Consent violations: Failure to ask for consent, failure to honor safewords, failure to honor stated limits, or failure to acknowledge and apologize for violations of personal space and/or boundaries.
  • Violation of This Code of Conduct: If Attendees experience or witness a violation of this Code of Conduct at an Exiles event, it is their responsibility to address the violation in one of the following ways:
      1. Address it directly: Attempt to bring the violation to the attention of the violator. Discuss it with them and attempt to correct the problem on the spot.
      2. Report to Directors: inform an Exiles Director of the behavior immediately. 
  1. Submit a complaint: If for any reason the attendee feels they can’t act at the time, they can  send an email to including as much detail about the incident as possible.
  • Review Process
      1. During Event: If a violation is witnessed or disclosed during an event, Exiles Directors have the right and responsibility to resolve the matter as they best see fit, including asking the accused person to leave the venue where the alleged violation occurred. 
      2. Review Committee: Complaints submitted via complaint form will be vetted by the Co-Coordinators, who will assess the complaint, hear as many perspectives as possible and determine an applicable remedy. The Co-coordinators may, at their discretion, ask other Directors to become involved. 
      3. It is very challenging for us as an organization to be called on to serve as police, judge and jury for situations involving our community members at Exiles events. But this is our attempt to try to create a safer space. Remedies can range from requirements to attend a training program, to mediation, to membership being revoked, to the individual being forbidden to attend Exiles events in the future, or similar actions.
  • In short: By attending an Exiles event you affirm that you will be honest and respectful in all your interactions and will be accountable for your actions and behavior. Know in advance that acting inappropriately will have consequences.

    1. Membership may be denied, or membership revoked, for cause. 
      1. Causes include but are not limited to:
        1. Disruptiveness – behavior that consistently impairs the orderly functioning of the organization at a business meeting or any Exiles event; behavior that interferes with the enjoyment of an event by others present.
        2. Unsafe behavior – behavior that presents a threat to the safety or well-being of others.
        3. Unauthorized representation or misrepresentation – No one shall speak for The Exiles or act as an official representative unless they hold the appropriate office or have been expressly authorized to do so.
        4. Violation of confidentiality – revealing confidential information about a member to anyone – or using information provided to the organization for other than official business.
        5. Theft or misappropriation of Exiles resources.
        6. Failure to abide by these Articles and Policies – unwillingness to adhere to the principles and procedures of this organization.
  • Behavior described above may also result in immediate expulsion from any Exiles event by any two elected or appointed Directors who witness such behavior.
  • Any member may present a possible cause of denial or revocation in writing to the Steering Committee. 
  • At a special meeting called with fourteen days’ notice and attended only by the Steering Committee, the parties, and any witnesses either party may bring, will be heard. The Steering Committee will ask questions and discuss the facts presented. Witnesses will be heard and questioned. At the end of discussion, both parties involved shall leave. All Steering Committee members who have heard the discussion are eligible to vote. A quorum of two thirds of the Steering Committee must be present for a valid vote to occur, and two thirds of them must vote to revoke or deny.
  • If a Steering Committee member is one of the parties involved, they will not vote, nor be present when the vote is taken.
  • If a person who is being considered for membership revocation or denial refuses to participate in the special meeting or respond to the allegations being brought against them, then the Steering Committee shall vote based on the facts and testimony it has at its disposal.
  • A person whose membership has been denied or revoked shall not be admitted as a guest to any Exiles function nor join the Exiles as a member for a period of 3 years from the date of the revocation or denial. After 3 years the person may apply to have the ban lifted by contacting the Co-coordinators and, through them, make arrangements to attend a business meeting with their request. The request can be granted by a majority vote of the Steering Committee.



Interim CoCo
Public Relations/Outreach Director

Kara (she/her) is the current CoCoordinator of the Exiles in San Francisco with a love of lipstick, heels, and flagging red. With only starting her leather journey in 2016, she is also a Leather & LBGTQ+ Cultural District member, the Cruize Coordinator for the Lesbian Sex Mafia in New York City, a Scholar at the Carter and Johnson Library, and a Folsom Street Fair Playground volunteer. 

Identifying as a white cis queer leatherfemme playful-slut bottom hucow, you can find her cuffed, bound, and gagged at the local dungeon or procrastinating on her papers as a Princeton Ph.D. candidate where she studies the intersections of architecture, gender, sexuality, and leatherdykes. 

Her term as CoCoordinator continues to center the Exiles’ evolving representation towards an intersectionally inclusive leather educational and social organization, community service, and expansion nationwide. I strive for the Exiles to be unapologetic as the leading example of what it means to build a chosen community of erotic dissidents. 


Interim Coco

Brianna/LipstickHoney is a cis queer, white, primal, feme, switch leatherwoman currently residing in Dallas. Her Daddy affectionately calls her baby bear. She joined the kink community in the summer of 2019 and quickly thereafter found the leather community in Eastern Iowa. She was a member of the CROP dungeon where she learned more about her love of flogging, impact play and rope. During the pandemic Zoom-life era she attended several online conferences including Flame, IMsLBB, WOD, CLAW, and became extremely active with the Exiles community. She also attended weekly online teachings hosted by her leather mother, Sarah Sloane. Brianna is an avid reader and lover of leather literature. As Recorder, she hopes to put her previous HOA secretary experience to good use keeping accurate minutes and records for the Exiles.

Kramer 2


they/open to negotiation

Kramer A. Dykeman (they/open to negotiation) has been out as queer, poly, and kinky since 1995. They were a member of the Exiles in the early aughts, back when we would meet in the Women’s Building. As an economist, they like to use their affinity for numbers both to be of service and to tell the funniest math jokes on the planet.

Switchy and vers on many axes, some labels they identify with are sadist, masochist, dom, sub, Daddy, boi, and bear. To keep the cats fed, Kramer does policy research by day, and sometimes by night, depending on the deadline.




honeycrisp (she/her) is a service-oriented slave, rope bunny and self-tier/suspender, and adorably cute pony currently based in the southwest Arizona desert. She entered the lifestyle in the DC metro area in 2010 before relocating to the desert for her health. honeycrisp currently is  the organizer of one of her local groups, keeping space in the small but fractured and transient desert community. 

honeycrisp brings an array of organization skills to the table, putting to good use her impressive Google Calendar wizarding skills and color coded to-do lists (with pretty fonts to boot if left unattended). Along with a long history of volunteering behind the scenes, she has an eye for the small details that help round out a volunteer group.



CoOrientation Director

Kayla (she/her) is a cis queer, white, bratty masochistic leathergirl. She explored kink privately for four years before finding the SF leather community in 2019 to cultivate this part of her identity and build relationships before returning to school.

As CoOrientation Director, she is excited to use her oral *ahem* public speaking skills to welcome all new and returning leather folx to the Exiles! Outside of the Orientation workshop, you may find Kayla mouthing off to some scary-looking tops & coordinating sensation play (impact, fire, or rope).  



all pronouns
CoOrientation Director

Monica Malone (all pronouns), current Ms. Minnesota Leather Pride 2019-2021, is a proud service-oriented switch with swagger generally found on the butch side of our kaleidoscope. Her kinks include leather on bare skin, flagging/ hanky code, squirting, role-play, sex sounds, impact, and sensation play that accommodates accessibility needs! And recently, Monica discovered the kink of receiving bouquets from gorgeous Californians. As a new Exiles member, Monica is found welcoming new kinksters and helping others find their social home. This service-orientated switch brings loads of history in queer campaigns, non-profits, and HIV/AIDS work.




Abbe (we/they) is the Exiles’ continuing Newsletter Editor! They have been an active member serving on the board for several years. In addition, Abbe has been a frequent volunteer at many varied events since deep-diving into the Bay Area Leather/BDSM community about a decade ago.

As the Exiles Newsletter Editor for The Lunatic Fringe, Abbe reviews, edits, and layouts all our imperative content and advertisements. The Lunatic Fringe title references the beautifully deviant, extreme, eccentric subcultural people within a group, and Abbe is honored to continue encouraging these members to write stories and opinions for juicy content.

In addition to Abbe’s work for the Exiles, they are on the Ethical Slut Presents: Navigating Consent Program board, where they work many hours as both Secretary and Treasurer. Beyond their desire to serve our community, you can also find them loving up on their family, including their many, many 4-pawed members.