The Exiles is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization for individuals eligible for membership who have a positive personal interest in BDSM. The group provides educational events for people with all levels of experience to have a safe place to meet, explore and share information about safety, play techniques and resources, and connect with the leather community.
We are comprised solely of volunteers. Many thanks to the people who have worked to make the Exiles one of San Francisco’s oldest leather organizations!
Tammy
she/her
Coco
Cocos@theexiles.org
Tammy is a leather brat, service sub, and a proud femme with a clipboard. As the first-ever Ms. SF Eagle Leather 2020, and current Vice President of Team Friendly SF Bay Area, she’s been volunteering, teaching, and stirring up mischief in the leather and LGBTQ+ communities for over a decade.
She brings over 13 years of service to organizations like IMsLBB, Society of Janus, and The Exiles — including her time as Volunteer Coordinator in 2023. She co-chaired the Glide Pride Team (where she helped raise $25,000 in a single year), designed floats, hosted fundraisers, and showed up again and again for her people.
Tammy identifies as a mixed-heritage Latina, a bratty submissive, and a leather leader who believes in mentoring through play and power exchange. She’s a longtime member of The Phoenix Family and a founding member of House of Fire, and has taught alongside her Leather Family throughout the Bay and Monterey areas for years.
Outside the scene, Tammy works as a project and property manager — and she’s ready to bring her bratty finesse and project manager power to The Exiles. She knows how to juggle deadlines, mediate tension, organize people, and keep things moving behind the scenes — all while looking cute as hell doing it.
Tammy hopes to help revise the Exiles’ internal documents with more inclusive language, create safer spaces for POC members, and build badass resistance through community connection.
She brings real-world experience in navigating complex systems, coordinating teams, and turning vision into action — all while leading with heart, humor, and a healthy dose of brattiness.
Kara
she/her
Coco
Cocos@theexiles.org
Kara is a high-heeled leatherfemme, a kinky academic deviant. Whether she’s strutting through a leather bar in pink pumps or co-hosting a Munch with iced coffee in hand, she brings fire, kink, and community-building magic to every space she enters.
She’s a Ph.D. candidate at Princeton studying archisexture — researching how queers, leatherfolk, and deviants shape power and space. Her work has been featured at MOCA, SFMoMA, and internationally, but she’s not just in the ivory tower — she’s kicking it down in heels and lipstick. Named Mama Vi’s Scholar by Vi Johnson herself and advised by Gayle Rubin, Kara blends scholarship with service.
Kara has previously served three years as CoCoordinator of the Exiles, sat on the Policies Committee, and fought for the trans-inclusive membership eligibility change. She’s hosted munches and socials, judged the Lone Star Cub Contest, and volunteered at many fundraisers, bar nights, and titleholder events. She has supported the Leather & LGBTQ+ Cultural District through grant writing and volunteering, while also serving her community by writing recommendation letters, editing titleholder applications, and coaching contestant speeches — often as the behind-the-scenes editor helping others shine.
She’s known for recruiting new blood, amplifying fresh voices, and never shying away from hard conversations — all while rocking pink hair and a mouth full of opinions. And if you’ve ever spotted one of those delightfully weird Rando Queerdo Bingo Cards at a kink conference… yep, she’s part of that crew too.
Kara identifies as a white cis queer leatherfemme, a hucow, and a playful slut bottom who believes that leather is both activism and liberation.
Kara will continue fighting for trans visibility and queer inclusion with boots on the ground — and for a future where education, consent, skill-sharing, activism, play, and leather joy collide and thrive.
Mat
she/her
Treasurer
Treasurer@theexiles.org
Mat is a steadfast butch leatherdyke with a head for numbers, a heart for community, and a deep-rooted history in San Francisco’s kinky past. She’s been part of this scene since before The Exiles officially existed — and after a return to leather life in 2012, she’s been a dedicated Exiles member ever since.
Now entering her second year as Treasurer, Mat has made the role her own: leading with sharp attention to detail, a deep sense of responsibility, and a quiet, steady commitment to keeping us afloat. She’s the kind of butch who reads what no one else wants to — tax forms, liability clauses, insurance policies — and makes sure we stay in compliance, paid up, and well-resourced.
Mat is also our logistics muscle and storage keyholder, regularly hauling chairs and supplies to events while helping rebuild our in-person culture with care. In 2025, she’s focused on increasing fundraising efforts, sponsoring local titleholders, and supporting major leather events — all while making sure we stay on budget and prepared for the future.
A cis lesbian butch and proud polyamorist based in Oakland, Mat brings grounded, no-nonsense warmth to everything she does. She believes in leather that’s sustainable, social, and ready to gather again — and she’s here to help make that happen, one spreadsheet and folding chair at a time.
honeycrisp
she/her/pony
Membership and Website
Membership@theexiles.org
honeycrisp is a beloved service pony, rope enthusiast, and tech sorceress. Her apple-sweet demeanor meets spreadsheet precision in a role that demands care, discretion, and an unshakable commitment to community.
For over three years, she’s held down both the membership and website systems for The Exiles — managing massive data sets, streamlining our forms, updating event listings, and making sure every part of our online presence is accurate, accessible, and beautifully branded. From passwords to privacy protocols, she keeps it all flowing — with zero fanfare and total consistency.
Her kink journey began over 13 years ago and deepened through her experiences with rope bondage and at MTTA’s slave training weekend in 2017. That weekend affirmed that her path — grounded in service, care, and self-knowledge — was valid and powerful.
In 2025, honeycrisp’s focus is on training new digital caretakers, continuing to improve access and user-friendliness, and ensuring member privacy and system sustainability. She’s also part of Team Dimples, supporting Orientation behind the scenes and always offering a gentle nudge of encouragement to those stepping into leadership.
Even while living with chronic pain, she continues to show up with dedication, tech wisdom, and a sparkle of whimsy. If you’ve seen her in a Biz Meeting or online munch, you already know: she is the Exiles’ digital backbone — and one of our most quietly powerful leaders.
Luka
they/them
Recorder
Recorder@theexiles.org
Luka (they/them) is a queer, white, non-binary dyke. They have been a member of the Exiles since 2020, when they finally committed to fully embracing and centering their long-standing interest in kink/BDSM. They have served as the Exiles Recorder since 2024 and they enjoy applying their love of careful record-keeping to the organization. At this point in their kinky life, Luka is a bottom- and sub-leaning switch and is especially fond of canes and other stingy impacts.
Kyla Q
she/they
Website Intern
Website@theexiles.org
KylaQ joined the Exiles three years ago after breaking out of a self-imposed cage of expectations—and they’ve been diving deep ever since. From educational events to dungeon décor, they bring creative precision and a joyful wink to everything they touch.
With a love for German engineering and fashion that turns heads, KylaQ is a switchy soul who favors flirty confidence, technical finesse, and just the right amount of sass. Whether she’s cranking up her power tools to sculpt hard wood (ahem) or styling a UX flow that actually makes sense, she’s all about improving what crosses her path—for the collective good.
You’ve likely seen her unmistakable smile at Exiles in-person events or been the lucky recipient of her welcoming wink. Behind the scenes, she’s fine-tuning our website, finessing back-end databases, and keeping the zeros and ones in line—all while making tech sparkle with a little leather femme magic.
Gage
he/they
PR
PR@theexiles.org
Gage Baldwin (he/they) is an agender Leatherqueer, with his roots planted in central Oklahoma. He started his journey as a Leather Boy in 2013, and found a home in The Exiles in the summer of 2023. They are the co-host of the monthly discussion group Let’s Talk Leather, and held the title of Oklahoma Mr. Leather 2019.
As far as kinks, they are a major scent pig, an eager masochist, and a sucker for a good gas mask. Gage has an eye for design that was cultivated by a decade of working in the arts, and a love of language that was fostered by the queer poets who came before him.
Malone
she/her
CoOrientation Director
Orientation@theexiles.org
Monica Malone (she/her) has been a queer leatherdyke probably since junior high when she got her first leather bomber jacket, but she’s been most active in the scene these last four years. Recently she stepped aside as Ms. Minnesota Leather Pride. While she wore the sash throughout the years of covid cancellations her time in service brought about a wee bit of deviant joy.
Leather itself is one of her favorite kinks. Another is impact/other sensation play that accommodates accessibility needs because it makes her switchy neurodivergent self happy. A real hanky code dork, ask her why she is flagging black and white stripes (R), blue and white gingham (L), or a stalk of celery (either) and you’ll surely receive a grin as wide as her dimples are deep. While Minnesota is home, California holds her heart (and often her tall blonde self). She is eager to spread The Exiles’ love all over newbies as our new Orientation Co-Coordinator and she’d like you to know her booty was recently certified by the National Historic Register.
Raye
they/ze
CoCoorientation Director /
Accessibility Director
Accessibility@theexiles.org
Raye (they/them/theirs and ze/zem/zyr, no preference between the pronouns) is a white, non-binary, queer, neurodivergent, and disabled person. They grew up in the East Bay Area and currently live in the central coast area of California. They are a sub-leaning switch and cat who loves doing nice things for others and getting praised for it. While ze is open to playing with many kinks, ze especially loves service, power exchange, impact, bondage, breath play, and critter play. Ze is passionate about accessibility, intersectionality, and mutual aid. As an ambulatory wheelchair user who is mostly home-bound, they thrive in online space and events. Ze loves welcoming new kinsters to the community, answering questions, and sharing resources.
AJ
they/them
Community Liaison
CommunityLiasion@theexiles.org
AJ is a passionate baker, crafter, and active member of the Leather and Kink community since 2014. Known for creating delicious cakes, brownies, and cookies, they enjoy bringing fun and creativity to both the kitchen and the dungeon, often flagging colors like lime green, red, grey, and black in their play. AJ is committed to supporting the community by raising awareness of the diverse perspectives and needs that shape it. Whether volunteering at national conferences or lending a hand at smaller local events, AJ is always ready to contribute, ensuring the growth and success of the Leather and Kink community.
Fiona
she/her
Anti-Racism / DEI Director
DEI@theexiles.org
Fiona is a femme furry fatale with a head for numbers, a love of latex, and a bod for sin. Whether as a pink rubber unicorn, a tail-hoisted skunk, or a floofy snow leopard, Fiona’s been seen trotting and padding around the local SF Bay Area scene for years. She brings a playful and committed energy to every scene she soaks in.
A proud transracially adopted neurodiverse mixed-Black sapphic trans lesbian who came to realize who she truly was a bit later in life, Fiona is familiar with many of the ways that paradigms can change with perspective, with experience, with empathy, and with time. In today’s political climate, it serves us all to be as welcoming of and aligned with our sibling groups and community members as much as possible. Part of that process, she has learned, is being willing to accept and reduce our own personal ignorance in an aspirational approach to understanding and harmony with each other. She is excited to continue building bridges as the current DEI Director.
Innocent
she/they
Doorkeeper
Doorkeeper@theexiles.org
A’ho, I’m Innocent (she/they), currently living in West Sacramento. I’m an Indigenous bootblack, and a bit of a dragon.
I hold memberships and affiliations with: All Indigenous Missing Murdered Vallejo, Leather girls of Color-The Foundation, F.I.S.T., Service Pets of San Francisco, Bikers Against Child Abuse (BACA) Sacramento Founding Chapter, Honorary Founding Chapter Member, The Exiles, and being Mama’s Innocent One in Mama’s Family.
Introduced to bootblacking by my first Sir, Linda, a US soldier, in the late 1990s, I’ve spent over 20 years honing this craft, finding joy in every shine, repair, and embellishment. I was recently asked for 3 kinks and my response. First, I would usually say boots, but mine kept trying to hurt me that day. Second, Meeting new friends And bitting, or rather, to be bitten, raaar.
My journey has inspired a passion for uplifting voices often overlooked, particularly among Indigenous peoples in kink and Leather communities. My mission is to advocate for ethical representation, for trans and other BIPOC bootblacks, fostering inclusivity at all levels. I’ve previously held officer roles in the motorcycle community as well as holding secretary and Sgt At Arms roles in various other organizations.